Commentary: Comic view in St Vincent and the Grenadines

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Commentary: Comic view in St Vincent and the Grenadines

Unread post by bimjim » Fri Dec 02, 2016

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Commentary: Comic view in St Vincent and the Grenadines: Come get your laughs on!
D. Markie Spring
December 2, 2016

Politics in St Vincent and the Grenadines (SVG) is no laughing matter!

However, if you are a Vincentian living at home or one who delves into the hot-button issues of political events in SVG and witnessing the frequent atrocious and cringe-worthy political moments which border on absurdity, you are bound to laugh!

To make sense of all these political satires, it is necessary to dissect Ralph Gonsalves’ infamous political journey and reveal the truth behind it. This a peregrination which is carefully coined and drafted by the communist in chief to push himself to political prominence – a height, which is beyond his capabilities. His actions will make people laugh, when in fact they want to cry.

For me, Ralph Gonsalves is more like a joker than a leader. In every aspects of SVG’s political maneuvers Ralph has to be under the spotlight. He is the master of ceremonies (MC), the performer and, at times, his own audience – an all in one, do it yourself (DIY) tyrant – his humorous backward political exploits and infantile maneuvers are inspiring enough for an Oscar best ‘comic’ nomination.

This comes in a time when Ralph Gonsalves had declared multiple completion dates for the Argyle International Airport (AIA) – dating back 2011. Actually, Ralph seems to be the leader who is disconnected from reality. During this campaign of chicanery and lies he goes on record promising the Vincentians people that the US soccer team would land at AIA in February 2016.

Although his sycophants at the gathering knew this was an elaborate hoax; and instead of disappointing their dear leader, they screamed for joy at the top of their lungs. Embarrassingly, the Americans never went to SVG until September 2016, and they landed at the E.T Joshua airport. In the meantime, AIA is still under construction and far from completion. I rarely laugh, but this one had me ‘cracking up’.

During Ralph Gonsalves’ 2015 notorious political strife he hired and ordered LIAT and Mustique Air aircraft to land at the unfinished, untested and uninsured landing strip at Argyle to fake an official opening, geared toward brainwashing the constituents and a desperate effort to raise his appeal to get him reelected. I am surprised this story hasn’t yet caught the attention of Hollywood. With a replicate of Ralph’s political satire in motion pictures, the audience is bound to have the best laughs of their lifetime.

Now I understand all these assertions about Ralph’s charismatic authority and the only man who can manage the country’s affairs are myths and far from the truth. When Gonsalves borrowed millions of dollars from the NIS, considering that internal borrowing is a form of fiat creation of money, it appears as though Ralph had his mathematics and economics intact. However, when Ralph could not repay the money he borrowed, his masterstroke was to go back to the NIS to borrow more money to repay the NIS the money he owed.

This does not make economic sense, and from mathematical modelling, it sure does not equate to any form of modern financial representation. I am sure that in a period not too far from now the Guinness Book of World Records will record this classic thriller as the biggest eco-political and mathematical blunder in the history of governance in SVG. I didn’t cry, but having heard this I laughed to tears.

For more than a decade now the emperor was unable to introduce a single new industry, much less create jobs. In fact, while he was busy on his conquest, agriculture fell into a coma and since he has been unable to resuscitate the uncultivated lands. Until now, the only jobs Gonsalves is able to afford is to employ his party supporters to clean the side of the roads for two weeks at a time for about $230; once in mid-August, designed for poor parents to be able to purchase back to school supplies; and once in late November – nicely crafted for Vincentians to furnish a good Christmas. Don’t laugh yet, there is more foolishness to come.

Additionally, Ralph’s economic failures prompted him to invent the YES program from which he pays Vincentians a teeny $400 monthly. The program’s specification suggests – rather than employing 20 people with decent salaries, of let’s say $2,500 each, he hired 2,000 workers at $400 dollars– making it look as though he’s creating jobs. Considering employment conditions in Africa, an African friend described this dilemma as the worst she’d heard – I laughed ‘til I was weak.

Another of Ralph’s attempts to dupe the nation drove him to create the ‘zero hunger’ initiative, stating that no one should go to bed hungry – which has failed miserably. One would think that the skipper would promote food security through sustained agriculture and initiate a cooperative that governs the sector, as ‘zero hunger’ cannot be achieved without access to food and, to pull this off, the architect of treachery decided to plant weed instead of food. Hold your laughs, it gets worse!

Currently, we are still unaware of the dealings Ralph had with “Jack” in Canouan! Apparently, “Jack” thought that owning the beach was a part of the bargain; hence, “Jack” went ahead and barred the locals from bathing on their own beach. Little did “Jack” know that the Mighty Gabby grew up bathing on that beach and, therefore, he wants “Jack” to know that the beach does not belong to him. Although I laughed, apartheid is a serious matter.

This one takes the icing off the cake – imagine the opposition discovered that $187 million jumped out the books into unknown pockets. In Parliament, when the ‘good guys’ asked the whereabouts of this money, the response was shocking – apparently, the national books weren’t audited for 11 years. However, considering the scarcity of development, towering unemployment and worsening poverty across SVG, and envisaging the widespread development $187 million could have engendered, admittedly I had to cry. I am not ashamed, though, as ‘Jesus wept’, not because he was incapacitated, but the fact remained Jesus loved Lazarus who died four days before He went to Bethany. If you love SVG as I do, and like Jesus did in Bethany, you too would have cried.

In the wake of a nation having a weak and retrogressing economy, exacerbating poverty and a pyramid of unemployment, Ralph is struggling to appease his ‘red’ soldiers and, when he could not manipulate some local businessmen into following his inept and backward style of governance, he waged political war against them. He inflicted financial injuries to ‘Bigger Biggs’. Up until now, the financial sore inflicted on this businessman is still a chronic pain.

The warfare continued against Ann Joshua, the operator of the former sugar warehouse and now the famous Cobblestone Inn in Kingstown, while ‘Basil’ who runs the restaurant in the said building was allowed to continue operations. Serious as this is, I laughed out loud (LOL)!

Still the despot is unsatisfied – influences of the grueling forces of victimization caused the closure of the “Chill Spot” restaurant and bar in Arnos Vale. If he could not ascertain support from these businessmen into joining his ‘red cult,’ he surely succeeded in cutting the breadline of these entrepreneurs and the people they employed.

What this self-professed economist, self-ordained leader did not realize is that the detested declaration of political warfare on these local businesses would eventually defeat his own formulated policies to alleviate poverty and ameliorate employment. Such a design placed the country’s economy in a stranglehold.

Gonsalves had yet another political miscarriage! David Ames, the developer of the Buccament Bay resort, waited until the main airport was closed and disappeared from the movie when the lights were switched off. The apprehensive people were left confused and hopeless after losing a whopping seven million in taxes. An uglier face of what people think is a conspiracy has surfaced – Gonsalves announced that the fugitive left the country ‘legitimately’ and, in the public’s pursuit of justice, ‘they’ broadcast once again that the fugitive was too sick to return to the set to continue this sick movie. The first time I heard this, I could hardly contain myself.

These disgusting depressive episodes of Ralph’s political miscarriages have overwhelmed the vast majority of Vincentians with acute nostalgia. Having said this, the American people have recently stolen Gonsalves’ ‘mojo’ when they voted Donald Trump for president. By now Vincentians have become immune to these frustrations; hence, the only deviation is to amuse themselves and ‘LOL’.

If you wish to be part of a national ‘comic’ audience, SVG is the place to be. Indeed, this nation has become the comedy central of Caribbean politics. For real, SVG is comic view, come get your laughs on!

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