Situation vacant - the worst job in Ireland

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bimjim
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Situation vacant - the worst job in Ireland

Unread post by bimjim » Tue Nov 08, 2016

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... ology.html

Situation vacant - the worst job in Ireland
Ryanair advertises post as assistant to controversial CEO Michael O'Leary saying applicants must have 'thick skin, saint-like patience and aversion to b******ology'
James Dunn For Mailonline
7 November 2016
  • Ryanair advertising for assistant for the 'misunderstood but beloved CEO'
    Applicant needs '(ego) massaging qualifications' to work with Mr O'Leary
    Will carry out 'general drudgery' and 'operate without sleep' if hired for job
    Mr O'Leary famously said the best way to motivate staff was through 'fear'
Employers often like to talk up the most menial of roles in adverts - but Ryanair has stuck to it's usual no frills approach by advertising for 'the worst job in Ireland'.

And the job is not as a 'lavatory engineer' or a 'microwave technician', it's actually for a personal assistant to their controversial chief executive Mike O'Leary.

The hilariously honest advert on the company's website insists applicants have a 'thick skin', 'saint-like patience' and an aversion to 'bol***ology'.

It requests '(ego) massage qualifications' from the applicant, who will work with the famously outspoken CEO, who has previously called the airline and himself 'nasty'.

If hired, the successful applicant can enjoy carrying out 'general drudgery' and must have the 'ability to operate without sleep or contact with the outside world'.

The advert might seem unusual for most companies but it seems to fit right in with Me O'Leary's no-nonsense approach, openly abusing his own customers at times.

After complaints over the company's no refunds policy, he famously said: 'We don't want to hear your sob stories. What part of 'no refund' don't you understand?'

Asked about a refund on another occasion, he simply replied: 'You're not getting a refund so f*** off.'

He has also admitted he is not popular, saying: 'I don't give a ***** if no-one likes me. I am not a cloud bunny, I am not an aerosexual.

'I don't like aeroplanes. I never wanted to be a pilot like those other platoons of goons who populate the airline industry.'

While the successful candidate may have a rough ride ahead, it could be worse for unsuccessful applicants who do not fit the specification, according to the advert.

'Note: Dubs fans, Man U supporters and cyclists will not only be automatically excluded from the process, but will be tracked down, tortured and shot,' it adds at the end.

However, anyone willing to take on the task and work with the 'misunderstood but beloved CEO' could have a promising career, the company claims.

It says: 'This role is a great opportunity for an ambitious, self motivated qualified accountant to work in a demanding and interesting role.

'There will be significant opportunities for the candidate if successful, to further develop their career by promotion into the management team at Ryanair.

Pay-per-pee

In 2009, Mr O’Leary announced that passengers could be asked to pay as much as a pound to use the bathroom during a flight.

'We’re thinking of putting a coin slot on the toilet so people may have to spend a pound to spend a penny,' he told the BBC Breakfast show.

When asked if he would charge more than a pound, he replied: 'If someone wanted to pay £5 to go to the toilet I would carry them myself. I would wipe their bums for a fiver.'

In 2009, Mr O’Leary announced that passengers could be asked to pay as much as a pound to use the bathroom during a flight.

Vertical seats

A year later, the controversial tycoon asked customers whether they would think of vertical seats, akin to bar stools with seatbelts.

His theory was that by removing 10 rows of seats and replacing them with 15 rows of vertical seats, flights could carry 30 per cent more passengers and slash costs by 20 per cent.

Reservation charge

In 2013, Ryanair has announced it will begin to allocate seats from next year - but it will still cost almost £5 if you want to choose it yourself.

From February travellers can pay five euros - £4.23 - to choose their seat while the rest will be allocated in the 24 hours prior to departure.

Who needs co-pilots?

Mr O'Leary once remarked that co-pilots were only there to 'make sure the first fella doesn’t fall asleep and knock over one of the computer controls'.

He declared aviation authorities should axe the 'unnecessary' position and instead train a member of cabin crew to act as 'back-up' should anything happen to the pilot mid-flight.

Fat tax

The company once conducted research on how passengers would feel about financial penalties for overweight travellers.

Mr O'Leary's statements were unforgiving. He said: Nobody wants to sit beside a really fat ****** on board.

'We have been frankly astonished at the number of customers who don't only want to tax fat people but torture them."

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